Going home

Hopefully by now most of you have received the news that I will be returning home for a year. I am excited to be returning to Colorado and jumping into challenging myself into growing in new ways.

That is honestly how I feel, but there is more to that too. Truthfully, this is not a easy step - in fact it is pretty scary. But, that is exactly why I am also excited, because although I have countless amazing qualities (wink, wink), there are many areas that I can grow, including not being afraid of new challenges. Does that make sense?

I want to explain a few things that I have realized through this process.

Every single person living in Oaxaca during this time has been affected during this time of turmoil. The stress of living in constant uncertainty, danger, and all that jazz takes its toll on a person. I now realize that I, personally, have been in survival mode. I think that I am doing alright. 'How are you doing?' 'I am doing alright.' - and that is really how I feel. But, behind that, and without even realizing it, all I have been doing is surviving. I push important reactions aside to deal with later, because if I don't, who knows how I'll end up. I can't be afraid right now because I need to get to sleep. That kind of thing.

At first, I felt like a wimp, not sticking it out in Oaxaca when so many others have to (by others, I refer mainly to Oaxacans). But now I realize that by going home for a time, I can be in the familiarity of my own culture, while challenging myself into developing new skills. Then, when I return, I can be "healthy" and able to help others more than I could have if I was continuing to just "survive."

And, had I not been in Oaxaca during this tough time, and had just gone there a year from now - I would have no inkling of what the people there had gone through. Now, when I work with people there, I can relate and better identify with what they have been through.

Isn't it great when the light finally dawns and we see what God was up to? It constantly amazes me. And that's just a fraction of how Almighty and Sovereign God is. I NEVER would be able to plan such things, and yet many times I still try to do things my own way. When will I ever learn? Well, why not start with today? I am going into another time when I really have no idea what will happen. But, I will continue to follow as I feel God lead, in faith that He continues to prepare a path before me.

"The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." Deuteronomy 31:8